What the Fuck?

what the fuck?

justnonna — Tue, 09 May 2006 03:42:08 +0000

If I were president bush, I would start looking for the escape boats, cause his ship is sinking. If he doesn't look out, they will be all gone! Can you say Titanic?

It’s amazing.

justnonna — Fri, 05 May 2006 05:40:34 +0000

It is amazing how many wonderful people I do have in my life. When I stop and think, I realize that if it weren't for working this program to the best of my ability, I wouldn't have any of these people in my life.

I would be completely enmeshed in whatever trouble I was in instead of enjoying my life every day for what that day brings. I bitch and moan, but I am thankful for all of the grief,joy, pain, fear, love and all of the other emotions that I have felt and learned to identify. Before 11 yrs and 9 months ago, the only thing I felt was anxious, scared, lonely, and very angry.

I will miss my friends tremendously, but will not lose them. I never kept friends that long when I was using, unless there was a mutual use that we had for each other. I can talk to my friends and they listen, and I listen when they talk. I can call them or email them just to say hey and have no hidden agenda. They will call me on my shit when it needs to be done. Thank you, thank you, thank you for all of the laughter and just being there.

I have one friend (you know who you are), that has stuck by me through a lot of stuff and has helped to teach me to be a better person and that I am human and can make mistakes and be forgiven. She has been my friend longer than any other person in my life.

I feel blessed today. Sweet dreams everyone!

Just another day in paradise! (sarcasm dripping on the floor)

justnonna — Tue, 18 Apr 2006 21:43:27 +0000

I go out to my car this am to check on it and add water to go to the local mechanic and lo and behold, I have a flat!!! So, I change this tire, and go to the mechanic. Without even really looking, he says water pump $350.00. Roomie says oh, shit. We go back home after a quick run to the grocery store. Back to square one!

The stop leak stuff I put in the radiator seems to be working some, but the mechanic says that that will only help temporarily for short distances. Is 100 miles really a long distance in Texas?!

I emailed my vet rep and she says that I am her only UNT student, so carpooling through them didn't pan out. In the morning I am going to call student services and see if they have anyone wanting to carpool for gas money. She also suggested a loan, which would take up to 10 days, which would not help and frankly, it won't be my car after that, but the loan payments would be. hmmmmm

what the fuck?!

justnonna — Mon, 17 Apr 2006 21:18:48 +0000

O.k., I have 3.5 weeks of school left. My super car has been a trooper covering 400 miles a week. Well, today on the way to school, all of a sudden the temp gauge shoots up and car warning lights come on. I pull in to gas station, cool it off, add radiator fluid and drive one block. It shoots up again, this time I cool it off longer and notice that it is not the radiator leaking fluid, looks like the gasket . Woohoo! I strategically navigate through the back roads with gas stations conveniently located about the time the car overheats again until I get to a station with that radiator stop leak stuff. Cool it off, add the stuff and am off again. I almost make it home when I have to pull over again. Luckily, a good samaritan stops, because at this point I am sunburned and overheated and don't have enough water in the fluid containers. He was a SBC guy in a truck, that happened to have lots of water. He was really pleasant and helped me get back on the road again and home safe.

Roommate was napping, so while I cried, prayed and literally peeled my clothes off my body, I thought God will take care of this. He has gotten me this far. Do the next right thing. So, I walked the dog. When I told Nan, she was calm and collected and said, you know that car is as important to me as it is to you. Let's take it to the shop and I will pay for the repair in the morning. What a blessing! I did not see that coming. Sometimes what the fuck can be a good thing.

Happy Easter!

justnonna — Mon, 17 Apr 2006 21:07:02 +0000

What a wonderful day! It was an unusual Easter for me, very low key. The neat thing was the phone calls! I had dear friends call and wish me happy easter. My mom called before heading out to bike the MS 150. Boy, it's sad when your mom is in better physical shape than you are! lol

Peace be with everyone!

Finally!

justnonna — Sat, 15 Apr 2006 06:56:45 +0000

I was up until 3 am last night. Damn that AA coffee! I was working on a school project from hell and being disabled, I have to get up every 30 minutes or so to keep my back and neck from freezing up. Buzzing from coffee,(my usual is 2 cups in the a.m.), I decide to start packing my closet. Then back to computer. Before I knew it, it was 3 am. I go to bed and sleep hard. I wake up and think, man my back hurts, look at the clock and think 4:30, no wonder, only 1 1/2 hours of sleep. Then I get up and realize, no, it's 4:30 pm! What the fu@#?! I feel a lot better, it has been a rough week.

#1-Projects, many projects. Lots of time in the computer lab.

#2-Pill popping roommate whose car died awhile ago decides she doesn't want to stay all day during her last week on another job and calls me for rides pretty much as soon as I get home from my 1-1 1/2 hour drive from school every day.

#3-Same said roommate tells me that she wants to go to meeting Friday and pick up her chip. I, knowing the reality assume it's a chip because she wants to reestablish her sobriety, but no, she wants to pick up her 2 year chip?! what the…? Then she decides she doesn't want to go. Of course another shipment of pills came in the mail today.

#4- Not all bad, I sound like it was a bad week. Actually, I have gotten some peace and compliments from my teachers. This semester has been my roughest. First my roommate and friend dies, then I got plantar fascitis and couldn't walk for a week, then kidney stones. Between all that and the remaining nutsack in my domicile, I have made it through the semester with good grades. I had to pray hard, go to lots of meetings and talk to my best girlfriend in the world in order to acheive this, but it is almost over.

#5-I got accepted at UNC Wilmington! Woohoo! I am going to live at the beach and teach ESL while going to school to be a teacher! Just a few more weeks! My baby sis, nephew, and brother in law are actually excited for me to come live with them for awhile! When I was there in January and saw my nephew and rebonded with my baby sis, I was overwhelmed with a knowing that this was what I needed to do. I once again hit my knees and prayed for his will. Once I got home, EVERYTHING that I did fell into place. The VA was cool with it and my bank I got an account at has a branch on the street next to where I will be living. It is a leap of faith. What a wonderful blessing! I was not a big part of baby sis's life as an adult. I didn't want her to watch my life go down the drain. Now we get to reintroduce ourselves to each other and see what kind of grownups we have become. The honor of holding her hand and feeding her ice chips while she was in labor for 18 hours, caring for her after her ceasarean, holding my only nephew in the whole wide world, holding her husband in the times of fear and joy, watching his face in the nursery as he saw his son for the first time, showing her a picture of Donovan on the cell phone while she was in recovery so she could see him, watching shy baby sis become a mother who is not shy when baby is hungry, talking to her about her post partum depression, being able to stay longer than Mom so she could get some rest. All of that experience has brought me a joy I can't express in words, but I am sure some of the people who read this may relate.

Is that enough writing for my first post? I am off to sleep. Good night everyone!